Dragon Posted 7 March , 2012 Share Posted 7 March , 2012 Do you reverse up to traffic lights? Have you never, ever, pulled up at traffic lights and watched the person in the car behind pull down the mirror and, squinting into it, apply eye shadow, mascara, blusher and lipstick, then, if there's time, brush and spray her hair (sorry, it's usually a woman)? Alternatively, file nails and apply polish? Alternatively, or additionally, eat breakfast? Some people have more beauty kit in their car than Selfridges Chanel counter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Posted 7 March , 2012 Share Posted 7 March , 2012 She: Darling, where did you put the breathalyser? He: In the glove box next to the whisky bottle That's not funny. The Belgian who wrote off the Black Gwynmobile in Cheshire shot out of a side road straight across a dual carriageway at speed (just like they do in forrin) and embedded his car into mine. On the shelf between his two front seats was a half full bottle of wine and a half empty glass. He was actually a very nice Belgian who immediately confessed what he'd done and handed over his name and address without fuss. I didn't send him a Christmas card though. Gwyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geraint Posted 7 March , 2012 Share Posted 7 March , 2012 , a Swiss army knife, Gwyn Ohh dear Gwyn! Now you are breaking the law. I am reliably informed by my daughter - Plod in North Wales's Finest - that you could be noted on police records as a 'potential knife carrier', and in any subsequent stop they will react differently and call a SWAT team down on you and give you a right old Rodney King. What? I exclaimed, even an old bloke like me carrying a gardening clasp knife and dirty fingernails? If the blade's longer than 1 milimeter you will be stoned to death following a fair trial and your family thrust into criminaldom in perpetuity she exclaimed. So I might as well be done for Peter as for Paul I thought. Now I carry a machette in the boot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Posted 7 March , 2012 Share Posted 7 March , 2012 Oh no! I have a Swiss Army knife in both handbags, one in my camera bag, one in my going-on-holiday-with-the-passports-and-ibuprofen-all-ready-bag and one in the car, as well as a couple in my desk drawer. You never know when you're going to need a corkscrew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
centurion Posted 7 March , 2012 Share Posted 7 March , 2012 Have you never, ever, pulled up at traffic lights and watched the person in the car behind pull down the mirror and, squinting into it, apply eye shadow, mascara, blusher and lipstick, then, if there's time, brush and spray her hair (sorry, it's usually a woman)? Alternatively, file nails and apply polish? Alternatively, or additionally, eat breakfast? Some people have more beauty kit in their car than Selfridges Chanel counter. But how do you see all the things on the rear shelf of the car in front in your mirror? - that was my point Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Posted 7 March , 2012 Share Posted 7 March , 2012 Some models of Renault Scénic come with special secret periscopes to spy on other drivers' funny habits and transmit information back to Renault for their next re-design. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
healdav Posted 7 March , 2012 Share Posted 7 March , 2012 This is an article in my local paper this morning. Written by Philippe Bouvard, well known on French TV and radio: "We can be certain that the two breathalysers that car drivers will soon be obliged to carry, but not use will soon join the museum of great ideas that are profitable for small firms such as the fluorescent jacket and the red triangle which is unusable because the wind that comes from the cars still moving blows it over behind the car that is broken down. Not only is it not certain that drivers will consent to this expense which will be just about daily or that they will blow into it, even if they buy it, but a lot of people who blow and find they are over the limit will drive anyway. Finally, the only road users who will benefit from an assumption of sobriety and excluded from the need to carry these will be moped owners, probably because they are thought to be so slow that their drivers will not have the time to drop into a bar on the way home". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin Bennitt Posted 7 March , 2012 Share Posted 7 March , 2012 Finally, the only road users who will benefit from an assumption of sobriety and excluded from the need to carry these will be moped owners, probably because they are thought to be so slow that their drivers will not have the time to drop into a bar on the way home". People generally buy mopeds, and those awful French minicars which have moped-size engines because you don't need a licence to drive one. And why do they buy them? -- because they've had their licence withdrawn, often for drunken driving. Go figure cheers Martin B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muerrisch Posted 7 March , 2012 Share Posted 7 March , 2012 Ohh dear Gwyn! Now you are breaking the law. I am reliably informed by my daughter - Plod in North Wales's Finest - that you could be noted on police records as a 'potential knife carrier', and in any subsequent stop they will react differently and call a SWAT team down on you and give you a right old Rodney King. What? I exclaimed, even an old bloke like me carrying a gardening clasp knife and dirty fingernails? If the blade's longer than 1 milimeter you will be stoned to death following a fair trial and your family thrust into criminaldom in perpetuity she exclaimed. So I might as well be done for Peter as for Paul I thought. Now I carry a machette in the boot. In the boot is useless. I own two real-deal razor-sharp kukhris [cookeries?, khukries .....?]. Kukris! It's Goorkha with the H. One lives in the car under the driver's seat, handle forward, and one by the bedside. My wife has the .22 air pistol her side. The little hooky bit on the blade is fine for bottles, the large blade is good for morale. Never know when you might need a beer, or meet a bear, officer .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grantowi Posted 7 March , 2012 Share Posted 7 March , 2012 If I hire a car in France, will it come with all these extras (triangle, FA kit, bulbs, jacket, blow in a bag x 2) or will I have to have supply my own ? And will there be a coloum on the form for "size of jacket" ? Grant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger H Posted 7 March , 2012 Share Posted 7 March , 2012 In the glove box next to the whisky bottle cheers Martin B Ricard, surely?! Roger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geraint Posted 7 March , 2012 Share Posted 7 March , 2012 Not just a jest Roger! Notice the growth of whisky sales in France. I'm sure that the local supermarket shelving for whisky has doubled over the last four years. They've got these brands I've never hear of Glen Crinian, High Cross, William Peel etc. But they drink it like they do Pastis - ie very very weak like squash; so they don't taste it's strength, and don't feel that it's affecting them nor their driving. I tend to drink whisky almost neat, but pastis in the French style - and its so deceptive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveMarsdin Posted 8 March , 2012 Share Posted 8 March , 2012 This appeared thios week in the local paper for the Belgian Province of Luxembourg: http://www.lavenir.net/article/detail.aspx?articleid=DMF20120307_00128211 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geraint Posted 8 March , 2012 Share Posted 8 March , 2012 Having placed an order in February, I did phone the company to chase up my order. The very helpful assistant informed me that they had only received their consignment today "due to immense supply problems in France" but the breath kits would be dispatched for arrival "early to mid next week". It appears that French motorists are taking this very seriously with demand even in rural areas outstripping supply. Ehhh voila! Au semain prochane! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveMarsdin Posted 8 March , 2012 Share Posted 8 March , 2012 and those awful French minicars which have moped-size engines because you don't need a licence to drive one. And why do they buy them? -- because they've had their licence withdrawn, often for drunken driving. cheers Martin B Excellent observation ! Keep well out of their way !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seadog Posted 8 March , 2012 Author Share Posted 8 March , 2012 Having placed an order in February, I did phone the company to chase up my order. The very helpful assistant informed me that they had only received their consignment today "due to immense supply problems in France" but the breath kits would be dispatched for arrival "early to mid next week". It appears that French motorists are taking this very seriously with demand even in rural areas outstripping supply. Ehhh voila! Au semain prochane! Geraint, this is a very silly question but you may be able to answer it. Given that motorists from the UK will be subject to the new law can I take it that one-use breathalyzers available in France or at the Ferry/Tunnel terminals will have bilingual instructions for their use? Given that the majority of the UK visitors will not "speaky da lingo" I trust this will be the case. Regards Norman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Posted 8 March , 2012 Share Posted 8 March , 2012 Looking at the Contralco website this page it looks as if there are picture instructions as well as text. If you want to see a set of illustrative animations click on Mode d'emploi. There is an English version accessible from the index page. Is it true that the majority of UK visitors can't even speak or read simple French? That's a very depressing comment on our education system or our attitudes, or both. I can't really see why they should they have English instructions; it's not as if we go out of our way to accommodate foreign visitors' languages. If English, then German (some Germans don't learn French), Flemish and Italian ought to be represented too. But if you don't drink, then... Gwyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muerrisch Posted 8 March , 2012 Share Posted 8 March , 2012 Geraint, this is a very silly question but you may be able to answer it. Given that motorists from the UK will be subject to the new law can I take it that one-use breathalyzers available in France or at the Ferry/Tunnel terminals will have bilingual instructions for their use? Given that the majority of the UK visitors will not "speaky da lingo" I trust this will be the case. Regards Norman No! You don't need instructions, you are not, ever, going to use it ........ that is the essence of this farce. From the country that inspired Clochemerle and Clouseau, and elected Sarkozy, expect nothing else. I think I will start marketing a sticker for front and rear saying, in every relevant language: The following on board: No baby No radar warning devices 2 x hi-vis tabards First Aid Kit Light bulb kit Fire extinguisher 2 x warning triangles 2 x breathalyser shovel and its not true about the kukri Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seadog Posted 8 March , 2012 Author Share Posted 8 March , 2012 O Dear there really are going to be problems! Please take me back to the Pussy Cat! (Click here) He He He Norman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Posted 8 March , 2012 Share Posted 8 March , 2012 The following on board: No baby No radar warning devices 2 x hi-vis tabards First Aid Kit Light bulb kit Fire extinguisher 2 x warning triangles 2 x breathalyser shovel and its not true about the kukri You've missed out the Green Zone emissions Plakette for Germany and the mandatory winter tyres. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muerrisch Posted 8 March , 2012 Share Posted 8 March , 2012 You've missed out the Green Zone emissions Plakette for Germany and the mandatory winter tyres. Ah! But I don't go into German cities, and I don't travel on continent in winter ....... just about all the other stuff is a bit nearer home. Oh! and I drive 7/24 with dipped headlights Just think, we have the French to thank for this thread, without them we would have to find something else to go on about ....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geraint Posted 8 March , 2012 Share Posted 8 March , 2012 Norman - I'll give a posting on instructions when they finally arrive. Souffle lentement! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilH Posted 8 March , 2012 Share Posted 8 March , 2012 Just to confuse the issue further..... I can't vouch for the accuracy but this was posted on another forum yesterday: I Emailed the French Consulate in London this morning and asked them various questions about breathalisers and other changes to French Traffic Law and received this reply 10 minutes ago. Hmmmm not quite what I was expecting!!!! The underlining and type in bold is my emphasis. The links provided are in English but not the Official website link. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Sir/Madam, Thank you for your enquiry. The breathalyzers are for French drivers only, this is the latest news we have, for regulations for motorcycles please try on our web site www.franceguide.com look in practical info and then in (getting there and around) and also on http://about-france.com/travel.htm for more information and also on the official web site and the links above www.securiteroutiere.gouv.fr the jacket can be yellow or orange. Bon voyage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveMarsdin Posted 8 March , 2012 Share Posted 8 March , 2012 Phil, the piece in Actu24 (see my earlier post) identifies that confusion too. In one part the wording of the law specifies "French drivers" and in another just "drivers" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin Bennitt Posted 8 March , 2012 Share Posted 8 March , 2012 Phil, the piece in Actu24 (see my earlier post) identifies that confusion too. In one part the wording of the law specifies "French drivers" and in another just "drivers" I have just rechecked the decree published in the Journal Officiel. It states quite clearly 'tous les conducteurs', which being interpreted meaneth 'all drivers'. cheers Martin B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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