squirrel Posted 14 September , 2007 Share Posted 14 September , 2007 Super job Landsturm. Nicely composed and the facial expressions and poses say it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunboat Posted 14 September , 2007 Author Share Posted 14 September , 2007 Landsturm You choice of medium is again inspired, the intensity of the ink makes the picture so stark and sombre like the subject matter and yet the whiteness of the paper seems to offer the hope of light at the end of a dark tunnel. It gives the whole scene a sort of ethereal quality. Excellent stuff * you watch you will reply now saying "er No... I just ran out of paint" * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Morton Posted 14 September , 2007 Share Posted 14 September , 2007 Landsturm - Very well done! Stark and deeply moving. All the best, Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Landsturm Posted 14 September , 2007 Share Posted 14 September , 2007 er No... I just ran out of paint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Johnson Posted 17 September , 2007 Share Posted 17 September , 2007 Here's my quick attempt. Well, next day we're told that the battalion is being broken up, and we'll be sent to reinforce other units. I was sent to the 102nd. Fortunately I managed to keep my stripes, as they'd taken heavy casualties among the NCOs. We reported, and it was a spell when the battalion was in reserve. So of course we spend our time drilling and polishing. Friday they march us to the range, mostly, I'm sure, to see how good we new boys were. I noticed that the Lieutenant was watching me. "Well," I thought "I'm not going to be caught out." I was a First Class shot. But still he kept watching me. Then he turns to the Corporal, who was 102nd, and says: "Corporal, march the men back; I want to talk to the Sergeant." Corporal grins, figuring I'm going to cop it. When we're alone, the Lieutenant turns to me. "Don't you recognize me, Jack?" I frantically tried to place him, from teachers to constables I'd had run-ins with. No dice. "Sir, have we met before?" "Jack, I'm disappointed in you; I didn't think you'd forget your best friend from the Barnardo home." Then it hit me. "Bill? It's been near eight years. You're taller, and the moustache foxed me. You've done well." "I was lucky. The family they sent me to ended up adopting me. They sent me to college. And so here I am. And you? How'd you make out?" I thought of the hard work on the farm, the beatings and the scanty food. I thought of how I'd run away. "Can't complain - I've done alright." He looked at me. I knew my sheet had a few entries, from before I got and kept my stripes. "Well, I'll do my best for an old friend - within bounds of course." "Thanks Bill - Sir." And I knew that tomorrow I'd see the Captain and request a transfer to another company. 'Cause Bill was too good a man; he'd get himself in trouble trying to help me. He'd landed in clover, and I was going to see that he stayed there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozzie Posted 17 September , 2007 Share Posted 17 September , 2007 What a great take on the title, Micheal! And sad, in its own way. Very thought provoking. Excellent! Cheers Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Morton Posted 17 September , 2007 Share Posted 17 September , 2007 Very original, Michael! A fresh slant and well done! All the best, Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
squirrel Posted 17 September , 2007 Share Posted 17 September , 2007 A different angle indeed. Nice one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunboat Posted 17 September , 2007 Author Share Posted 17 September , 2007 Indeed a really good entry and astonishing how you managed to create such a depth of characterisation in so few words. Excellent. I remembered to read it as Lootenant as well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Johnson Posted 17 September , 2007 Share Posted 17 September , 2007 I remembered to read it as Lootenant as well Nope, Canadian Army is same as the British - LEF/tenant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunboat Posted 17 September , 2007 Author Share Posted 17 September , 2007 Nope, Canadian Army is same as the British - LEF/tenant. Sorry a bit of IT dyslexia I read your details as Ohio not Ontario so had thought it was an american perspective Pronouncing lieutenant correctly is just another reason to love our Canadian Cousins. All other comments remain valid * withdraws to Stupid Corner via the nearest opticians* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Johnson Posted 17 September , 2007 Share Posted 17 September , 2007 What I was drawing on here was the experiences of the "Home Children" who were sent to Canada in the early years of the last century. Many were abused, physically and sexually, and even absent that, the readjustment from an urban environment to Canada would have been a shock. The war brides had a similar experience. One boy gets lucky, the other does not. But in the spirit of his generation he does not complain. You take the hand life deals you and play it as well as you can. There is no jealousy of his friend, which is why he will ask for the transfer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susanhemmings Posted 17 September , 2007 Share Posted 17 September , 2007 Michael, I like you entry for this very much indeed. Well done. Superb way to approach this. Susan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Johnson Posted 17 September , 2007 Share Posted 17 September , 2007 Praise from Susan is praise indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katie Elizabeth Stewart Posted 17 September , 2007 Share Posted 17 September , 2007 Michael, your entry reminded me of something by Ernest Hemmingway - the succinctness, brevity and to some extent, abruptness. His 'a very short story' - have you ever read it? By the way, I have the fledgling of an idea... I'm very touchy about my work, and I've never posted on here before, so please treat me with kid gloves for the first time... when is the deadline? I'm not sure how long the idea will take to come to fruitition, it has to bud first, I can't just write spontaneously like some of you talented bunch!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susanhemmings Posted 17 September , 2007 Share Posted 17 September , 2007 Praise from Susan is praise indeed. Oh Michael, why? It is EXCELLENT. And a totally different angle. Really, I did enjoy it......(I did not realise that i am so stingy with compliments ) Katie, come on. Whatever you do at least you will have tried and I'me sure it will be good.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Johnson Posted 17 September , 2007 Share Posted 17 September , 2007 Yes Katie, please take a stab at it. I think the last Hemingway I read was probably "The Old Man and the Sea" in high school, although I may have skimmed a few in my parents' library. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katie Elizabeth Stewart Posted 17 September , 2007 Share Posted 17 September , 2007 I think the last Hemmingway I read was probably "The Old Man and the Sea" in high school, although I may have skimmed a few in my parents' library. Wow, your parents have a library! I'm not sure why it reminded me of Hemmingway, perhaps it might have been such fleeting characterisation but please try it. You can see if you agree! Not many people like this particular story of Hemmingway's, but personally I think it's brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Johnson Posted 17 September , 2007 Share Posted 17 September , 2007 Not a library in the sense of municipal or college, but all of one wall of a room about 30 feet long was floor to ceiling bookshelves, apart from the fireplace. I found the story and read it. It is very much Hemingway. It is interesting to remember that Hemingway was a newspaper man (including for the Toronto Star, my home town paper - he lived a few blocks north of where I went to high school). His experience left its mark on his writing. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernest_Hemingway Morley Callaghan was a friend of my mother's Perhaps my job, which involves summarizing legal judgments, has done the same for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katie Elizabeth Stewart Posted 17 September , 2007 Share Posted 17 September , 2007 I've only recently learned to enjoy Hemingway's (just one m ) rather pragmatic, 'understated' style. Yes, I can see how summarizing legal judgements would keep your writing to the point and less florid than conventional - just writing the bare minimum can often be so much more effective, I myself am one for getting bogged down with detail as (perhaps!) you shall shortly see! And by the way, I loved your closing line about keeping him 'in the clover.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Johnson Posted 18 September , 2007 Share Posted 18 September , 2007 Hemingway's (just one m ) I studied Classics at University Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Johnson Posted 18 September , 2007 Share Posted 18 September , 2007 By the way, I have the fledgling of an idea... I'm very touchy about my work, and I've never posted on here before, so please treat me with kid gloves for the first time... when is the deadline? I'm not sure how long the idea will take to come to fruitition, it has to bud first, I can't just write spontaneously like some of you talented bunch!!! Ah, but Katie, that is the way to write. When the idea coalesces, start writing - you can edit and polish after. No writing is ever perfect, but even in its imperfection it gives pleasure to the reader. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunboat Posted 18 September , 2007 Author Share Posted 18 September , 2007 Ah, but Katie, that is the way to write. When the idea coalesces, start writing - you can edit and polish after. No writing is ever perfect, but even in its imperfection it gives pleasure to the reader. here,here, and this conveniently explains why my writing is riddled with gramatical errors and typos I am striving to acheive the highest levels of reader enjoyment with imperfection Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katie Elizabeth Stewart Posted 18 September , 2007 Share Posted 18 September , 2007 here,here, and this conveniently explains why my writing is riddled with gramatical errors and typos I am striving to acheive the highest levels of reader enjoyment with imperfection I'm saying nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Johnson Posted 18 September , 2007 Share Posted 18 September , 2007 I'm saying nothing. So young, but so discreet! Wise beyond her years, she is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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