Sue Light Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 About a year ago I was contacted by a chap who collects medals, asking about one of the men on my web site. He said that he had this man's 1914 Star, and asked if I could give him any further information. I didn't have much more than was already on the web, but when I later obtained the service record from Wellington Barracks [at a cost to myself], I sent him scanned copies of everything I received. Since then I've been contacted by family members, and they know that I know who has the medal, and have asked to be put in contact. I don't think they particularly want to purchase the medal, but are interested in where it was obtained etc. Do I have some duty to contact the owner of the medal first, and ask him if he is happy to be emailed, or is it OK to just pass on the email address to the family. After all, I was 'cold called', and have done all I can to freeely pass on information. I would much rather just give the family the address, and let them get on with it, but is this the right action? If I contact the owner first, and he never replies to me, that leaves a bit of a loose end. Thanks - Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkristof Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 Whatever you do, there will be always people happy with it and people disapointed with it. I speak out of a lot of experiences... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ian Bowbrick Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 Put yourself in the shoes of the man who actually owns the medal - would you want your address being given out to anyone who may happen to contact you? This particular issue is being faced more regularly than it used to by collectors as interest in family history and what grandad did in WW1 grows. Just to give you a case study. Five years ago I purchased a trio to the Royal Welsh Fusiliers, superb group, ribbons looked as if they'd been kept in a coal shed though. I cleaned them up put on new ribbons etc. Six or so months down the line I get a call from some relative of the recipient who would like to purchase them from me. He got my number from the dealer concerned ( ). Being the good chap I am I obliged and agreed to let him have them at cost. Four weeks later the same trio appears on another medal dealers list with a 50% mark up. Cynical - me - Nahhhhhhhh. Episodes like this are not unique, they are lessons you learn along the way. Ian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DirtyDick Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 Best practice is to pass on their details/interest to the collector concerned, rather than give his details to the family. If I received an email out of the blue asking for the private email address of someone with whom I am in communication, I would not forward it to them, but rather send on the request to the intended recipient. In that case, he will not be put under the same emotional pressure as he might if they contacted him directly. Then, if he wants to contact him it will be entirely his decision; and if he wishes to remain anonymous but pass on details/photos and consideration for first-refusal should he come to sell them, you can act as a conduit between both parties. And there is always the possibility, as Ian says, that they are either not who they say they are or else will cherish them less and sell them on when they need a few quid/new t.v. etc. I can't see any problem or personal discomfiture if you email them to say you have passed on their details and will leave it up to the individual concerned, for if he doesn't get in touch it means he doesn't want to do a deal and as the owner that is his prerogative. Ricardo The Circumspect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkristof Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 Put yourself in the shoes of the man who actually owns the medal - would you want your address being given out to anyone who may happen to contact you? This particular issue is being faced more regularly than it used to by collectors as interest in family history and what grandad did in WW1 grows. Just to give you a case study. Five years ago I purchased a trio to the Royal Welsh Fusiliers, superb group, ribbons looked as if they'd been kept in a coal shed though. I cleaned them up put on new ribbons etc. Six or so months down the line I get a call from some relative of the recipient who would like to purchase them from me. He got my number from the dealer concerned ( ). Being the good chap I am I obliged and agreed to let him have them at cost. Four weeks later the same trio appears on another medal dealers list with a 50% mark up. Cynical - me - Nahhhhhhhh. Episodes like this are not unique, they are lessons you learn along the way. Ian And it is not only with medals this happens... I once had it with militaria too. I sold, dirt cheap, a Belgian special belt buckle just like the one the guys father had. He really wanted it. 2 weeks later i saw the same thing selling for 6 times it's price!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ian Bowbrick Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 Best practice is to pass on their details/interest to the collector concerned, rather than give his details to the family. If I received an email out of the blue asking for the private email address of someone with whom I am in communication, I would not forward it to them, but rather send on the request to the intended recipient. In that case, he will not be put under the same emotional pressure as he might if they contacted him directly. Then, if he wants to contact him it will be entirely his decision; and if he wishes to remain anonymous but pass on details/photos and consideration for first-refusal should he come to sell them, you can act as a conduit between both parties. And there is always the possibility, as Ian says, that they are either not who they say they are or else will cherish them less and sell them on when they need a few quid/new t.v. etc. I can't see any problem or personal discomfiture if you email them to say you have passed on their details and will leave it up to the individual concerned, for if he doesn't get in touch it means he doesn't want to do a deal and as the owner that is his prerogative. Ricardo The Circumspect. Exactly - not sure about the emotional pressure though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ian Bowbrick Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 Put yourself in the shoes of the man who actually owns the medal - would you want your address being given out to anyone who may happen to contact you? This particular issue is being faced more regularly than it used to by collectors as interest in family history and what grandad did in WW1 grows. Just to give you a case study. Five years ago I purchased a trio to the Royal Welsh Fusiliers, superb group, ribbons looked as if they'd been kept in a coal shed though. I cleaned them up put on new ribbons etc. Six or so months down the line I get a call from some relative of the recipient who would like to purchase them from me. He got my number from the dealer concerned ( ). Being the good chap I am I obliged and agreed to let him have them at cost. Four weeks later the same trio appears on another medal dealers list with a 50% mark up. Cynical - me - Nahhhhhhhh. Episodes like this are not unique, they are lessons you learn along the way. Ian And it is not only with medals this happens... I once had it with militaria too. I sold, dirt cheap, a Belgian special belt buckle just like the one the guys father had. He really wanted it. 2 weeks later i saw the same thing selling for 6 times it's price!! It stinks doesn't it! There is a guy in the UK well known for doing this who used to live local to me - a complete swindler, got his come uppance in the end though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkristof Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 And there are soooooooooooooooooo many swindlers in WW1 militaria Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T8HANTS Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 Hi I think the only time I would pass on such an address would be if the family had reported the item stolen, and even then I would ask to see a photocopy the crime report sheet with its number. Or you could contact the police yourself. I had my collection of uniforms stolen so I know how that hurts. If no crime suspected you must ask the new owner if he wishes to be contacted, would be my answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
N.S.Regt. Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 I recently replied to a message on another forum Looking for information on a Canadian soldier which I had the medals and research on. The man claimed to be looking for information on the soldier and when I replied that I had the information on him he said he was looking for the family to return some personal effects that belonged to the man. I contacted him and told him I would get in touch with the family but there were no direct relations still living and if they wished to contacted I would provide him the information. When I sent my reply I told him that they had already had sold the medals photos badges ect. He then replied that he had bought a lugar sent home by him and wanted the medals and photos I was a little peeved to say the least. I was aware of the sale of the gun but did have the new F.A.C. to buy it and these weapons are now prohibited in Canada so I could not buy it. I did buy the medals I did not want a important group to leave the province and the gun was sold to a dealer. I am very careful whom I give personal information to and the above example shows why. Some people will resort to lying and deceit to get what they want and people should be protected from that sort. Regards N.S.Regt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_Hartley Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 Sue I take a different view. Give the family the guy's email address. It's only an email address, so he can preserve his privacy if he wishes. Researching men on war memorials and then displaying that info on a website is a service to the community. I would take the view, that if I am not prejudicing the medal owner's security then my responsibility is to "my men" and their descendents. I presume you are confident that the family actually ARE family? John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest shenkursk Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 Sue: This happens quite regularly in our business. Not always a relative, but often just another collector who REALLY wanted the item, and now wants to get in touch with the buyer to make an offer. As described in a previous post in this thread, we too have found a simple way to make sure that everyone's privacy is protected while at the same time doing what is possible to be helpful to everyone concerned. We ask the petitioner to draft a letter (either by email or post) which they send to us. We then forward the information to the first buyer and any reply (or lack thereof) is completely at their discretion. I understand the family frustration, too. I recently found a website post from a fellow who has my great-uncle's WWI pocket diary and photos in his collection. I sent him a note explaining my connection to the articles and offered just about any sum he was bold enough to ask for them. Unfortunately, he was not interested in parting with them for any price, as my Uncle was also a friend of his when he was younger. Good luck! Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbie Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 Go with your "gut" feeling. I'm sure you'll know what to do for the best. Robbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_Hartley Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 Thankyou John for a voice of sanity in the wilderness! Cor, Sue, it's been a while since anyone used my name and the word sanity in the same sentence. I have an idea. Why not contact the medal owner and say that you are going to let the family have his email address, UNLESS he contacts you within the next week to let you know he doesnt want you to. Onus on him them. John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrtle Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 Go with your "gut" feeling. I'm sure you'll know what to do for the best. Robbie I agree with Robbie. You know what to do Sue. Myrtle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue Light Posted 25 November , 2004 Author Share Posted 25 November , 2004 John You haven't just had a bath, have you? I only ask because I've just had a very long, hot soak, and reached an almost identical conclusion. A good idea! Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue Light Posted 25 November , 2004 Author Share Posted 25 November , 2004 Robbie/Myrtle I thought I knew what to do this afternoon - then I started wavering... then I fell by the wayside... but now I'm rejuvenated by Radox and an empty glass Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_Hartley Posted 25 November , 2004 Share Posted 25 November , 2004 You haven't just had a bath, have you? : Nah. Friday night is bath night oop north. It's when we wash off the week's grime from t'mill, put new clogs on and take t'whippet for a walk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry Denham Posted 26 November , 2004 Share Posted 26 November , 2004 Friday night is bath night oop north. John Is that whether you need one or not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate Wills Posted 26 November , 2004 Share Posted 26 November , 2004 Thank goodness I met him on a Saturday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Posted 26 November , 2004 Share Posted 26 November , 2004 I met him on a Thursday. Ah. Gwyn PS I went to the dogs at Belle Vue on the Friday. After me bath... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate Wills Posted 26 November , 2004 Share Posted 26 November , 2004 Did you ride tandem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Posted 26 November , 2004 Share Posted 26 November , 2004 Did you ride tandem? To the dogs? Oh no. But I really did go to the greyhounds. It were me first time an' all. Ah'd tell yer abaht it if it weren't a thread abaht summat else. Gwyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisharley9 Posted 26 November , 2004 Share Posted 26 November , 2004 thank god I come from Norfolk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_Hartley Posted 26 November , 2004 Share Posted 26 November , 2004 Gwyn Dogs? You? Off-Forum contact eagerly awaited. Just off to get tin bath from t'shed. John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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