bkristof Posted 29 April , 2004 Share Posted 29 April , 2004 how far can you go??? agree they fought for our "freedom". but what is the limit? For me this is already more than over it... what is next? a garden party? a concert... a festival ...a circus? No not for me. There are other places enough. How can you combine a wedding with a cemetery? That is to me a bad start! anyhow, i don't like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Furnell Posted 29 April , 2004 Share Posted 29 April , 2004 Evening all. When i was over,in April of last year,i saw the same thing at Tyne Cot. To say the least,i was a little surprised. Having your wedding photos taken,surrounded by thousands of graves,and thousands of men who have no grave,seemed a little weird to me. Then i thought about it,and realised that this young couple had known this place,all of their lives. To them,this was a special place. They were starting a new life,and having it recorded,amongst those who had enabled them to make that choice. Most people get married in church,the first time,and sometimes the 2nd or 3rd. Not many Churches,in the UK,have no graveyard. I wish them,both,happiness,and a long life together. All the best. Simon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkristof Posted 29 April , 2004 Share Posted 29 April , 2004 maybe i am "sick" minded but why shouyd it be special for them??? O dear i can't imagine that! let's hope it was their first kiss, or a meeting spot... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ypresman Posted 29 April , 2004 Share Posted 29 April , 2004 Iain 'Not Married' McHenry Mr McHenry You do suprise me !!!!! At the end of the day, as quoted earlier, yes its in Belgium, but would any person over in England have their happy day getting married and then shuffle off to a 'Graveyard'( "Oh yes, lovely day dear, now lets pop down to the local grave yard and have our photos done, just to round off the day....")!! If you know of anyone, well...... I personally don't think that there should be celebrations in a place that is meant for peace and eternal sleep, after all its not exactly a 'celebration' of life for these lost souls. If you like the architecture, have your photos taken from the outside, looking in... Totally wrong........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Posted 29 April , 2004 Share Posted 29 April , 2004 what is next? a garden party? Hello Mate In large parts of the non-western world having a picnic at your relatives grave is a normal part of everyday life, it helps the living connect with the dead. When I go to Loos in May to the spot where my GGrandad was killed (and who still may be there) I will be raising a glass of Barnsley Bitter and drinking a hearty toast to him and his comrades who died and didn't have the dignity of a "conventional" burial. And yes Ypresman, I will be CELEBRATING the lives of the men who died for me. Andy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ypresman Posted 29 April , 2004 Share Posted 29 April , 2004 When I go to Loos in May to the spot where my GGrandad was killed (and who still may be there) I will be raising a glass of Barnsley Bitter and drinking a hearty toast to him and his comrades who died and didn't have the dignity of a "conventional" burial. And yes Ypresman, I will be CELEBRATING the lives of the men who died for me. Yes, that is fine, but that is a private, emotional thing, that only involves yourself and your relatives. No problem it is personal, we all do it... But there's celebrating and then there's CELEBRATING.. But what is the fine line? When do you turn it all into a circus? The cameras, the lights.... If the people involved were at a relatives grave, wouldn't they have a bit more dignity? Respect for others? We do not live in a non-western world, so therefore it is not normal to have a picnic, wedding party in a graveyard....... I'm sorry, but a wedding party in a Graveyard, especially a war cemetery, just does not faze me... By the way Max, you go and have your drink for your G. Grandad and toast him from all of us, all the best....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest newworldmember Posted 29 April , 2004 Share Posted 29 April , 2004 I couldn't agree with you more, Martin! I was appalled to read your account of a wedding party at Tyne Cot. From my perspective as a U.S. citizen, I have long believed that the British have far better manners than we have and also maintain a far greater respect for their past. Terrible to think that these qualities are being eroded. I have only seen Tyne Cot once (in the 1980s). I went there to find the name of a British officer in the Worcestershire Regiment whose body was never found whose medals I have. It was most moving to see his name. I know a great deal about his experiences in the arny both before the war and during it. He was killed by a sniper in 1917. Best wishes, Cory Kilvert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark A Posted 30 April , 2004 Share Posted 30 April , 2004 Have to disagree with you Ypresman about picnics- I've often sat on a cemetery wall on the somme and had a picnic and I've just walked the dog through our church yard and a couple of walkers were having some sarnies on a bench in the graveyard... I think it's all a grey area frankly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_Hartley Posted 30 April , 2004 Share Posted 30 April , 2004 From my perspective as a U.S. citizen, I have long believed that the British have far better manners than we have and also maintain a far greater respect for their past. Terrible to think that these qualities are being eroded. Cory I think Martin indicated was suggesting that the wedding party was Belgian, not British. John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkristof Posted 30 April , 2004 Share Posted 30 April , 2004 So Belgians have less maners than Brits? I don't think that is a matter of nationality... I have seen awfull Brits too... A belgian Pal, kristof Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dycer Posted 30 April , 2004 Share Posted 30 April , 2004 Slow down Guys! Logic suggests that as the Wedding had taken place locally they are a Belgian couple but does it matter about Nationality. We seem to be split 50/50 between support for and against the Cemetery being used as a backdrop for Wedding Photographs. Luckily I don't have any concerns about my Uncle's grave being used in this way.He is,though, buried in a Churchyard Cemetery(Sailly-Sur-La-Lys).Or are Pals suggesting I write to the Church Authorities asking them to ban photographs being taken near his grave? George Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Posted 30 April , 2004 Share Posted 30 April , 2004 In England, if you get married in a reasonably old church then you are most likely standing on someones tomb/body whilst in front of the alter. Andy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spike10764 Posted 30 April , 2004 Share Posted 30 April , 2004 Good point Andy. Sometimes the important thing is to remember the slain, surely the cemeteries can be used in this way with dignity. Graveyards of churches are the scene for many a wedding photo album Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_Hartley Posted 30 April , 2004 Share Posted 30 April , 2004 So Belgians have less maners than Brits? Kristof No. That's not at all what I was suggesting. I was simply correcting Cory's misunderstanding. regards from north west england John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkristof Posted 30 April , 2004 Share Posted 30 April , 2004 OK, happy to read that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andyspiller Posted 30 April , 2004 Share Posted 30 April , 2004 Pals For what it is worth Tyne Cot plot LXIV. G. 12 contains my great-uncle Herbert (he's up in the choir ). Every time that I have been there I always get a good feeling about the place. I appreciate that the cemetery is to some a very solemn place but I feel more like celebrating those that are there, rather than being sad about them. What is done is done and the most important thing is to not forget. If someone wants to take pictures of Bert's grave then that is fine by me. Regards Andy PS My Avatar is Bert's stone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Furnell Posted 30 April , 2004 Share Posted 30 April , 2004 Evening all. Seems we have opened a real can of worms here. I maybe a little weird,but,to me,seeing that young couple doing what they were doing,was very heart warming. I don't think it was a gimmick,or disrespectful. Although a place,that shows how horrible The First World War was,and the waste of life,it is a beautiful Monument,and a peaceful place,one of the quietest places i have been,since a kid. On the best day of your life,what better place to be,than somewhere that is both beautiful,and peaceful,and part of your life for as long as you can remember. Told you all,i was a little weird. All the best. Simon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salientpoints Posted 1 May , 2004 Share Posted 1 May , 2004 Well, having been away for a week there plenty of topics to choose from! This one I found particularly interesting. Personally I do not see a problem with this providing the photographer is not exploiting the beautiful setting. What I mean here is does the photographer actually suggest using tyne cot to all clients? You see it may not mean anything to some and purely 'look nice in white'. From a local habitation point of view where folks have grown up with it so have a personal connection, and from anybody's point of view who has a profound interest in the Great War or indeed relatives whose names are there then this is a wonderful testament to the sacrifice. After all lets not forget a wedding vow is sacred, this is effectively sacred / sacrificial ground, the memory is forever and a wedding vow is also meant forever. What better way to further preserve and cherish the memories of fallen and future generations. Ryan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ralph Posted 3 May , 2004 Share Posted 3 May , 2004 Hello, I am new to the Great War forum and have just read your report on the wedding experience at Tyne Cot. About two years ago, my wife and I visited Tyne Cot and saw a similar thing. At first we thought a newly married couple had come to pay their respects to a fallen relative. It soon became clear they were just using the cemetery for a photo shoot. Laying down on the stone of rememberance for a photograph is not like standing infront of uncle Bert's headstone. We were saddened to think someone would want to use this place for their own gratification. Regards Ralph & Pauline Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Hone Posted 4 May , 2004 Share Posted 4 May , 2004 There was a similar thread a few years ago, possibly on the old WFA forum, after I saw a fashion/advertising shoot in progress under the Menin Gate with models posing with sports cars. They were fully clothed and there was nothing unsavoury about it but I still felt that it was pretty disrespecful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul guthrie Posted 4 May , 2004 Share Posted 4 May , 2004 wasn't/isn't it custom for Russian brides to goto the tomb of the unknown soldier and leave their flowers? Yes in Soviet days & I suppose it continues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frans Posted 13 May , 2004 Share Posted 13 May , 2004 As I am new to the forum. I would just like to say whom I am. I was born in Holland and from the age of 11 brought up in sheffield England. I moved to Belgium in 1993 with my English partner. I live next to Essex farm cemetary in Ieper-boesinghe. I understand when there is a photo shoot on the cemetary this could be found as a hindrance. I personally have great respect for the Belgiums in the way they accommodate the many english visitors that come here every year. I can't remember of any news regarding damage to any of the graveyards. While they are easy to get into. I still think one of the most impressive ceremonies is the closing of the gate at 8 o'clock every night for an event that was nearly 85-90 years ago. Some belgians might find this a hindrance, but there is no question about continuing it. As far as I know, that it is the determination of the townhall Ieper who promotes the last post so that we are reminded every day of the things that can happen, and remind us of what has happenend. Towards the english they are very welcoming, and they think very highly of the english. I personnally find some of the graveyards beautifull and very peacefull. I can immagine that I am not the only one. Some of them are little gems. My favourite being talana farm where very few people come. When I am in need of a bit of peace and quiet I go and sit there for a while. And when I sit there and see the 550 graves of these young men, my problems suddenly seem very small. We are nowadays all in need of a bit of peace. For most of the time there are never any problems, and there will always be something that will irritate someone. But we must not forget that people live and work here too, and life goes on.The majority of the population give all the monuments the respect they deserve. frans Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andyspiller Posted 14 May , 2004 Share Posted 14 May , 2004 Frans Well said Regards Andy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now