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Remembered Today:

Hilarious memory from a veteran just passed onto me


steve fuller
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Hi all

Thought Id share a daft little story with you as it tickled me no end. A chap contacted my website and told me how grandad used to share some of his stories around the table when he was young. This was one of them.

"The night Shorty fell in a shell hole"

'A short summer night somewhere on the Western Front. A patrol of the 2nd Bedfords emerges from the line and slowly and stealthily in single file makes its way forward. It is unusually quiet, all are on tenterhooks,(or as the old man put it - shitting ourselves). Suddenly there comes a grunt and muffled plop from the rear which startles those who hear it. At the same time a flare arcs from the German Lines and they all freeze, hardly daring to breathe.

As the flare dies, the rear rank men can see a steel helmet on a bobbing head. Their comrade has just his nose above the water. A whispered message flows from man to man up the column. "Shorty's fallen in a shell hole". A pause, stretched to eternity, as crouching they waited for the reply. At last a command decision, reflecting the comradeship of the British soldier,"F**k Shorty, carry on".

Later the patrol returned with "sod all accomplished". It was just following the dawn stand to, there appeared in the trench, an apparition,sopping wet,covered from helmet to boot in green slime,duckweed and mud, 5ft of incandescent rage directed at his comrades or more properly 'those effing ******** of his section'.

Shorty was no longer missing in action.'

Maybe its just me but I was belly laughing and genuinely in tears when I read it and am again now I am re-reading it. :lol::lol:

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Thanks!

Best laugh I've had tonight!

:D:P:D

Bruce

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Worth repeating at your talk to MK WFA branch I hope?!

Stephen

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Worth repeating at your talk to MK WFA branch I hope?!

Stephen

:unsure: oooh, Ive been recognised!! It was going to be shared, yes! May have to watch my P's & Q's a little but so what?!

See you there from the sound of it! :)

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Thanks for sharing the story - those of us who won't be at MK WFA much appreciate it.

Sums Tommy up to a tee I reckon.

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That's whot I love about Tommy Atkins, his wicked sence of humour, thanks Steve.

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Thanks for sharing, but I now have a sore lip where I had to bite it to stop myself laughing out loud as I'm supposed to working. :lol::lol:

Andy

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I will be there - We have occasionally commented on common threads usually 6th Beds/8East Lancs 112th Brigade 37th Division.

All the best.

Stephen

no heckling at MK by the way!

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I will be there - We have occasionally commented on common threads usually 6th Beds/8East Lancs 112th Brigade 37th Division.

All the best.

Stephen

no heckling at MK by the way!

Be nice to put a face to a name :)

Will be doing a part of it on the 6th at Arras so hpefully something aguely interesting for you there! See you soon then

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Steve

Good story ! May I add another amusing interchange, gleaned from a book "The Soldier's War 1914-1918"by Peter H Liddle:

"Mining activity beneath the trenches was unsettling to troops in every sense. Captain Deane,in August 1915, wrote: "Yesterday morning there was a sharp shock and the ground shook. I climbed up and looked over the parapet to see if there was any smoke about. As the Germans are mining under us it is not encouraging", On that occasion British countermining had exploded a counter-charge ( a camouflet) to destroy the german gallery,but the degree of alarm which such work occasioned may be apocryphally illustrated by the sentry who is supposed to have looked puzzled on being instructed to blow his whistle if the trench were mined. It was reported that he revealed his puzzlement by enquiring whether he should blow his whistle as he was going up or coming down "

Sotonmate

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Guest KevinEndon

In todays pc world of ageism, sexism and all other isms this story would be frowned upon for being short legged personism. Its a craker of a story bet shorty was glad he wasn't 4 foot 7.

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Good tales of the Tommy nuttin to beat a soldiers sense of humor when your back passage is as tight as a ducks right in the middle of a oporation.

Dan

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