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Desmond7's Blog

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Ch 36


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Bert McCallion watched as a smiling Rifleman Andy Hollinger emerged from the officers’ dug-out carrying a Hessian sack.

“Alright Bert?” smiled the good natured Hollinger as he squeezed past McCallion.

“Sticking it, Andy mate, just sticking it. What you got there then,” McCallion jerked his thumb at the lump in the sandbag.

Hollinger held up the sack like an angler offering a prize catch for judgement.

“My bloke just got himself a hamper from Fortnums, didn’t he. Mr. Hartley slipped me a can of tinned salmon and best of all, strawberry bleedin’ jam. Beats plum and apple hands down!” grinned Hollinger.

“How long you been working to him then Andy? I thought old Tommy Morgan had that job?” inquired McCallion.

Hollinger brought out a packet of five woodbine and offered McCallion a smoke.

“Tom’s out with trench fever, mate. I got assigned to Mr. Hartley just before we went over the bags up at Messines,” he said.

“You alright with that stuff?” asked Bert. “I mean, servant and all that?”

Hollinger shrugged his shoulders: “Don’t worry me none chum. I do his errands, keep his kit as clean as I can in this f..king place and get him a cup o’ char and a bite to eat when I’m asked. Aside from that it’s a cushy billet.

“I get off on me own for a fair bit and the Colour can’t nab you for work parties which is a bonus! Come to think of it, the hardest thing I do now is go and fetch their bleedin’ parcels from the Post Corporal or their clothes what’s been repaired.”

McCallion nipped the glowing end of the Woodbine and stuck the butt into his tunic pocket.

“You would have met my Amanda then,” he sighed.

“No mate. I heard about your girl but I never collected from them. I was meant to go down there the night before we were all marched off for the training camp before Messines but at the last minute, Mr. Hartley went down there himself. Said he fancied a walk.”

Hollinger plodded another few yards along the duckboards before turning with a wink: “Listen Bert, you need a bit of strawberry jam for your next loaf , you just give me a nod! Best o’ luck chum!”

But Bert McCallion’s thoughts were a million miles away from strawberry jam.

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OHHHH er missus!

So our hartley went and picked it up himself did he?

Does Major Dennis Broomfield now that?

Mandy

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You'll have to catch up Mandy ... Major Broomfield was strafed by a Hun fighter on his way back to Ypres. Now it's down to Bert to unravel the next few chapters.

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Maybe Hartley is a German spy who tipped off Baron Egbert about Major B's wherabouts.

I think Hartley is actually the darsdardly Hauptmann Hartzlich von

Munchengladbach (or is that in Wales?)

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I'm beginning to wonder about the reputation of my namesake, here.

It's one thing being called a cold-hearted, evil b*****d of a serial killer, but Welsh!!!!

It's just toooo much

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I'm beginning to wonder about the reputation of my namesake, here.

It's one thing being called a cold-hearted, evil b*****d of a serial killer, but Welsh!!!!

It's just toooo much

laugh.gif

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Look - I may be playing God here but not even I would make you Welsh.

Now running. Fast.

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It's not you, Des. (or Ms Dessie as I now think of you since you sent me that copy letter- but that's just our secret)

It's that posh bird with all the money who offered you the Huntley & Palmers early on.

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If it is the lumleyesque Mdme. Wills ..

Then you have a grandad from Port Talbot. Sorry mate ..

Lumley .. Hartley .. Lumley .. Hartley

You choose.

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If you don't give me a few more scenes, Joanna will refuse to play me. I'll end up being portrayed by the third from left in the shampoo ad.

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armourersergeant

Posted

If you don't give me a few more scenes, Joanna will refuse to play me. I'll end up being portrayed by the third from left in the shampoo ad.

I'm feeling a bit neglected as well Kate.

But then I guess Des is keeping me for a special scene later on wink.gif

regards

Arm

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So who in the film is going to play our Amanda?

Does she make an appearance maybe in the flash backs in black and white?

Seb suggests Orlando Bloom!!!!!!!

Now that would be a twist woudn't it?

Prof MurphyAskew

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Caught up the last 3 chapters.....B****y good stuff. Long may it continue.

Can't help but put faces to the characters though Des.

Lt Hartley.....like that sgt out of Band of Brothers....you know the one who we thought was a right bad un (Cannae remember his name) .....but meant well in the end.

Ahem ....sorry John. smile.gif

The plot thickens.

My head spins....I need to go lie down.

James

Is there a specific time for the updates??

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Caught up the last 3 chapters.....B****y good stuff. Long may it continue.

Can't help but put faces to the characters though Des.

Lt Hartley.....like that sgt out of Band of Brothers....you know the one who we thought was a right bad un (Cannae remember his name) .....but meant well in the end.

Ahem ....sorry John.  smile.gif

The plot thickens.

My head spins....I need to go lie down.

James

Is there a specific time for the updates??

The updates are scheduled to arrive just after Des has finished writing them.

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The updates are scheduled to arrive just after Des has finished writing them.

And after he has had them looked over by Messrs Sue, Grabbitt & Runne to ensure that there is sufficient libellous material in each episode.

Or so I'm told, boyo.

Dai Hartley-Williams

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Lt Hartley.....like that sgt out of Band of Brothers....you know the one who we thought was a right bad un (Cannae remember his name) .....but meant well in the end.

James

Nothing like him at all. I have insisted in my contract that Hartley be an unremitting unabashed complete b*****d. A b*****d so complete as to be Professor of B*****disation at the University of B*****dy (Previously known as Greenwich Polytechnic).

See next episode for details.

I shall sue, for defamation, if there is there slightest sign of the milk of human kindness to be spotted in Hartley's language or manner. I have a real Forum persona to protect.

John

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