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The Great War (1914-1918) Forum

Remembered Today:

"Customer Services"


John_Hartley

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My brother-in-law recently telephoned his insurance company to report an accident.

IC... What was the nature of the accident?

BIL..I hit a pheasant and damaged my front sill.

IC... What make of car is the pheasant.

BIL.(tongue in cheek) Its a Ford.

IC...I've not heared of that model before, is it new?

Nuff said!!!!

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About 12 years ago, we enjoyed a wonderful month roaming Europe by rail with a cheap ticket which (for a sadly very short time) cost little more than a student card. Journeying back from Krakow on the final day, we needed to cross Vienna, where I fell for the old trick of being diverted while some 'erbert nicked one of our bags. This particular bag contained camera equipement and my credit card (we split money and items between bags so we were not entirely bereft.

The Police ushered us into their office to make a statement, and invited us to phone the credit card company emergency number. An American voice took my details:

Voice from America: Where are you now, and where did this happen?

Me: Vienna

Voice from America: Where's that?

Me: It's the capital of Austria

(the Austrain policemen grimaced at this point)

Voice from America: Oh! OK.

What do they say about adding insult to injury?

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Well, not long ago I had a problem with a credit card that 'blocked' for unknown reasons when I was in the UK - a British credit card.

I went to the nearest branch of the bank and asked the 'customer services manager' for help. She panicked blind and told me I had to use the 'red phone' to call the HQ for such a complicated problem. I did and got a nice helpful woman who heaved a sigh and told me all I had to do was go to one of the machines, put my card in and follow instructions. Happens all the time.

What got me was that the woman in the branch didn't know how to resolve a simple problem that she obviously ought to have known about. Fortunately for her she was talking to someone else (and no doubt not solving her problem) when I had finished.

Then there was the woman in Bombay who told my wife she would have to go to the local branch of the bank and talk to the manager about the problem she had. My wife pointed out that her address is not in Britain so going to the branch is a bit expensive. 'Goodness Gracious Me' was the reply.

Obviously no one had told her (or anyone else, presumably) that the bank has customers who don't live in Britain.

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  • 4 weeks later...

For the past year I've been trying to get Bristol & West (recently taken over by Britannia) to send to my address correspondence for my mother. (She's been in a nursing-home for the past 15 months and I have her enduring power of attorney.) They keep on assuring me that their records reflect this, but they've just sent something - again - to her former home. Cue for another irate letter.

(It was the Bournemouth office who did this; curiously my father received an identical letter regarding his account sent to the same address as my mother's - by the Salisbury branch.)

Moonraker

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  • 2 weeks later...

Further to my post above, I've just spent two mornings trekking around various High Street branches of banks and building societies to register my father's enduring power of attorney, with the request that correspondence still be sent to him. This threw several of the institutions, not least Britannia/Bristol & West, which said it would have to come to me; the girl even checked with somone else. Wearily but politely I pointed out that this is what I wanted for my mother's EPA, but letters were still going to her at her former home. Then the girl handed me a form which include the choice of where I wanted correspondence sent; so I ticked the "account holder" option and put in my father's address. "You've put in his address," she said accusingly; "That's one of the options on the form," I pointed out, which she grudgingly accepted.

Next port-of-call was my father's bank, where I presented a certified copy of the EPA and was asked to step aside to fill in a short form, which took me three minutes. I then waited 15 minutes for the person who had taken my place to complete his business (which included filling in a far longer form than mine). By then the clerk who had originally helped me had gone for lunch, taking with her the EPA copy. Luckily I had another with me. I was there for almost 40 minutes, in contrast to one building society which took five minutes to register the document. I warned the second clerk that I would expect the missing copy back or expect the bank to arrange/fund another certified copy.

Moonraker

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I work for an organisation which takes calls from the public.

I heard one of the staff we employ from an agency taking details from a caller..I only heard her side of it but it went:

'How would you be spelling that?'

'Ok'

'Is that a Q?'

'mmm Q? is that Q as in cucumber?'

Student on holiday placement....say no more.

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