George Armstrong Custer Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 don't want to become known as a pushy-sod ) Why break the habit of a lifetime? As for my ghost story, I prefer the bit about drinking, gambling, mauling and mamzelles who give their all - personal taste's a funny thing, init! Absolutely agree chum - reactions to art forms are entirely subjective and opinions don't have to be underpinned by the evidential references which would be looked for in support of our conclusions on historical events elsewhere on the forum. It can be interesting, though, to hear why we think something does or doesn't work or appeal to us in poetry or other art forms. By the way - I'm not surprised that things go bump in the night in the establishment where your ghostly soldier is holed up, given the references to the line of business carried on there! George Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salesie Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 By the way - I'm not surprised that things go bump in the night in the establishment where your ghostly soldier is holed up, given the references to the line of business carried on there! George Perhaps we should ask PJA if he thinks Haig would have approved or not? Cheers- never been kissed salesie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Armstrong Custer Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 You are a very naughty man, Salesie. Shocked George Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Sheldon Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 Talking of voices beyond the grave, I thought that I should bring to the attention of the Forum this posthumous piece by William McGonagall, a former near neighbour of GAC. Jack The Storming of the Ridge 'Twas about the late summer of 1914 When all the war poets embarked for France I ween And amongst them I am not afraid to say Was Salesie, not one ever to be lost for a lay. And with them went Mr George Armstrong Custer Never a man to miss out on a muster And a chance to collect a complete anthology Of Forum poems without any apology. From Mons to the Aisne then at Ypres they fought Writing endless screeds of poetry they bought Themselves the right for to strike the Germans a blow And teach them they were a formidable foe They had their chance then in 1915 In a battle, the fiercest that ever was seen When the poets were summoned to capture a ridge Having first crossed under shell fire a bridge. But under the bridge lay Mr George Armstrong Custer Watching the battle unfold without any fluster Till he cried, 'This shelling's getting heavy the noo - I think I'll stay where I am and admire the view'. Meanwhile, on the far bank Salesie, poet and tragedian Appointed by the Forum to be the high heid yin Quoth, 'Stay awhile and admire the battle's extravaganza Take cover, have a fag, while I write another stanza'. While the poets all dallied, advanced the gallant Forty Twa Led by their pipers, whose pipes they did blaw Till the Germans all shouted in deepest dismay 'Is there no chance of driving those noisy ******* away?' 'None at all', said the poets, 'in fact what is worse If you think they are bad, wait till we recite our verse!' Which made all the Germans their hearts for to quail Knowing that it would make their defence fail. Advancing with iambic and trochaic tetrameter They quickly closed up on the Germans' perimeter Then, down in a shell-hole, their hearts all a-glow They said, 'From this range we'll fill them all full of woe'. Spotting their chance did the poets then declaim Wild tales of battle and great martial fame Till the Germans shook in fear and howled at the moon Ach mein Gott! The next time it will be Darkie the Coon. So the whole position emptied down to the last machine gunner Who was the last one to set about doing a runner Which was lucky for him, for the poets of the Forum Were about to recite one intended really to bore 'em. But with trenches abandoned, they soon won the day A triumph for poetry I am really glad to say As was Mr Custer, safely under his bridge Who shouted, 'Thanks to Salesie, I can head for the ridge'. So without more ado I can conclude my lay And give thanks to the versifiers without more delay For their work won the war, now in our beds we can sleep And pray that the poets o'er us for ever their watch they will keep. Wm. McGonagall (To be opened in the event of my death) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Armstrong Custer Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 Wm. McGonigall (To be opened in the event of my death) You mad magnificent b*stard, Sheldon! Anthologist George Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PMHart Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 Now that Jack is a real poem! Pete Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
squirrel Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 Top class Jack! A well researched, historically accurate and deeply meaningful piece. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Armstrong Custer Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 Well it certainly moved me, the tears are still streaming down my face - as those nearby wonder what's so funny...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
squirrel Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 Reminds me of this one - author Anonymous: As Private Thompson used to say, He couldn't stand the War; He cursed about it every day And every night he swore; And, while a sense of discipline Carried him through thick and thin, The mud, the shells, the cold, the din Annoyed him more and more. The words with which we others cursed Seemed mild and harmless quips Compsared to those remarks which burst From Private Thompson's lips; Haven't you ever heard about The Prussian Guard at X Redoubt, How Thompson's language laid them out Before we came to grips? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanA Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 Talking of voices beyond the grave, I thought that I should bring to the attention of the Forum this posthumous piece by William McGonagall, a former near neighbour of GAC. Yes, yes, this is all very well but I feel we should have a better understanding of this incident if only someone could research the action using material from the German archives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
squirrel Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 I am sure I have seen an account of this in a book entitled: "The German Army at....." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salesie Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 Talking of voices beyond the grave, I thought that I should bring to the attention of the Forum this posthumous piece by William McGonagall, a former near neighbour of GAC. Jack Wm. McGonagall (To be opened in the event of my death) Priceless, Jack, absolutely bloody priceless! Cheers-an aching-sided salesie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salesie Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 I am sure I have seen an account of this in a book entitled: "The German Army at....." Tony, the book you're thinking of is "The German Army at.....Poets' Corner" Cheers-salesie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Sheldon Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 I am just the go-between Salesie, but it must be great feeling to be one of Wm McG's legion of heroes! Jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Armstrong Custer Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 it must be great feeling to be one of Wm McG's legion of heroes! Jack Don't push it! George Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Sheldon Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 Just call me Sysiphus Jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Armstrong Custer Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 I was going to answer that with a stony silence.......But I'm sure I'll have hit on something to call you when I see you! George Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Sheldon Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 Hmm. You will have to be bo(u)lder than that! Jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanA Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 I think it would be grossly unfair to let the poem unearthed by Mr Sheldon pass by, gathering plaudits like nuts in May, without subjecting it to the same critical examination as we have given Mr Edwards' effort. On the face of it, it would appear that Mr McGonagall has handled his material with his customary aplomb: the rhyme scheme, scansion and verse form are, as usual, impeccable. However, closer forensic examination reveals serious flaws. He writes iambic heptathlons which is, I admit, elegant, acrobatic and to the point -BUT, given his Scotch accent, it surely behooves him to employ doric octaves. These require finer handling, of course, but should not have given a poet of Mr McGonagall's standing cause for concern. The alcoholic content of the poem is weak while subordinate adverbial clauses tend to expire just before their algorhythmic climax engendering a type of aposiopesis which one finds distressing. Not one of Mr McGonagall's finer efforts then, though utterly devoid of mawk and ockers, so retaining some redeeming traits. Strangely, casualty figures, like guillemots, are remarkable by their absence - surely a lapse? The underlying sub-rhythm I find is variable and subject to chromatic inversion - this obviously raises the overall pulse which may be described as febrile and counter to the uninhibited and flagrant bathos of the subject matter. Now, to the point - was I moved? I was, Dear Reader, to my very bowels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Armstrong Custer Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 Hmm. You will have to be bo(u)lder than that! Dear oh dear. Surely this is not from the same pen from which flowed that virtuoso McGonagallese? From fabulous flights of poetic fancy to rock bottom in three posts - this is more Icarus than Sisyphus! George Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Filsell Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 Laugh? I nearly did. It' strange how you know a pome is going to be a total crock when it starts with the word TWAS. Its like a smoke alarm going off when the chips are overdone. Jack I am ashamed of you being trapped by Sellasie and Geo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Armstrong Custer Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 Jack I am ashamed of you being trapped by Sellasie and Geo. David, my occasional landlord, you're not claiming that Sisyphus was trapped between a rock and a hard place, are you? George Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salesie Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 Just call me Sysiphus Jack Oh dear, Jack, this must mean you've visited the very same Estaminet that my Ghostly private haunts - but I'm sure the MO will sort your rock's problem out! Cheers-sympathetic salesie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Sheldon Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 George I consider myself well and truly reprimanded Ian. All your points are well made and, in defence of the great man from the banks of the silvery Tay, I should only like to highlight the fact that you cannot expect work of the quality of: The Wreck of the Barque 'Lynton' while bound for Aspinwall, having on board 1,000 tons of Coal more than once in a lifetime. I hope that posterity will look kindly on this, his final poetical offering. Jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted 2 November , 2011 Share Posted 2 November , 2011 If you like poetry click Here (Skindles) I could't find a ww1 poem from the great man. If I do I will post here. Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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