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Remembered Today:

“WHO WON THE WAR AND WHY?”


NigelS

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I came across this in a local newspaper (Surrey Advertiser) from November, 1919, and thought it worthy of sharing.

WHO WON THE WAR AND WHY?

A SALONIKA YARN

We have received from a correspondent the following humorous musical monologue as told by a Cockney member of the Salonika Forces to his grandson on his return to Blighty year unknown. Written by Sapper Jim Morris ; music Pte. H. Collins; recited by Pte. Laurie Sweetapple; produced under the direction of Col. Banks, D.S.O., and Pte. Fred Miller, G.H.Q. Concert Party. Note. This monologue was written on the 1st October, 1918, two days after the Armistice terms with Bulgaria were signed.

You wants me to tell you a story

Of who won the war, and why?

Well, your Grandad aint quite what he was, boy,

But as you wants the truth, well, Ill try.

Theres somethings wed like to forget, lad,

Theres things that your memory keeps green,

Though they say Ive the
TAP
, I remembers

What happened since August fourteen.

You say that youve read in the histories

Of who started the war, and when,

But you cant find out just who won it,

Why they won it, and then

You comes to your poor old Grandad,

Wholl tell you the truth, as you knows

Just wait till Ive had my quinine, lad,

Twenty grains, thats better, here goes:-

You see, it was like this; the Germans

Thought theyd like all the earth to run,

So they started by walking through Belgium

Into France. Now look here, my son,

Its no use of you interrupting,

And telling me you knows all that,

IM telling the story, not you, See?

And telling the truth, Comprée that?

Its never been in the histories,

And the War Office records dont show,

The why and wherefore of winning,

But I was there, and I know.

I was just going to say, when you stopped me,

We bunged our lads over to France,

And we stopped Mr. Frits in his travels,

And led him a hell of a dance

We was keeping him busy when Turkey

Thought she like to come into the show

Then Italy wanted a flutter

Dont interrupt, you dont know.

Then old Johnny Bulgar got busy,

And Serbia, well, Serbia went West,

So they sent some of us out to help em

I was one of em, one of the best.

Its a hell of a country excuse me,

When I thinks of all Ive gone through

In the country they call Macedonia,

Well my language, it aint fit for you,

We stewed in the sun in the summer,

We froze in the cold winter nights,

At a hundred and four with
Dingy

We didnt enjoy ourselves quite.

And each day we read in the papers

How the boys out there in the West

With the tanks and the planes and the gas-shells

Were spoiling old Frits rest;

While we out in Macedonia

Were doing ourselves real fine,

Yes, with Dysentery,
Dingy
, and such-like,

M. and D.
, castor oil, and quinine,

Well, we stuck it as best we were able,

We went into
Dock
and came out,

Did
Com. Camps
, and Rest Camps, and stunts, which

As a kid you know nothing about.

Why your Grandad once wrangled the
Y Scheme
,

And the prospects of Blighty were gay,

But they tumbled he hadnt malaria,

So they gave him a
board
, marked him
A
.,

Did I ever come home on leave, boy?

Did I leave Salonique? Did I-h-ll

Did you ever see an oyster

Come out for a walk from its shell?

It was like that with us, we was fixtures,

We was in, but couldnt get out,

And the chances we had of leaving

Was nothing to shout about.

The years went by, still we wailed,

They said we was having a rest

Abasking all day in the sunshine,

While the boys did the work in the West.

Well admit they were doing some scrapping,

And at times catching Frits on the bend,

But they never seemed to get nearer,

What we wanted to see was THE END.

You see we worked it out this way,

If we made Johnny Bulgar collapse,

We could tie the Turk up, and hed chuck it,

Then we might get to Blighty perhaps.

cause the Austrians, well, theyd be easy.

And without all the others the Hun

Wouldnt stand very long on his lonesome,

And the blooming old war would be won.

Well we got fully fed up with the waiting,

So, one day, without any fuss,

We went in and toused Johnny Bulgar,

We thought it was right up to us;

Gave him one in the neck, a good un,

Got him groggy and well on the run,

In a fortnight he chucked the old sponge up,

And thats how the war was won.

Youve asked for a story, youve got it,

Who won the war you can see,

Never mind what it says in the books, boy,

When you want the truth come to me.

Now you wants to know WHY we won it?

The reply you must surely perceive,

THE SALONIKA FORCE WON THE WAR, BOY

CAUSE THEY COULDNT GET HOME ON LEAVE.

TAP - any ideas? Haven't come across an Acronym, Abbreviation or slang word that fits the bill

Dingy - squalid, grimy; from its use it looks as if it might be slang for an illness, I wondered about diarrhoea ie the sh*ts (the OED gives that it's conjectured that dingy might be a SE dialect derivative of dung), but I've found nothing to corroborate this.

M. and D. - Medicine and Duty, marked on a servicemans sick report when feigning illness

Dock - Doctor

Y Scheme - Click

board - Medical Board

"A" - Fit for duty

Com. Camps - any ideas?

NigelS

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Since he's talking about his memory, I think he's meaning the Doollalli Tap, Army slang for mental illness. The main mental hospital in India was at Deolali, aka Doollalli. Com Camps could be a misprint for Con(valescent) Camps, of which the Salonika Front had an abundance.

Keith

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Dingy - squalid, grimy; from its use it looks as if it might be slang for an illness, I wondered about diarrhoea ie the sh*ts (the OED gives that it's conjectured that dingy might be a SE dialect derivative of dung), but I've found nothing to corroborate this.

TAP - any ideas? Haven't come across an Acronym, Abbreviation or slang word that fits the bill?

NigelS

I think it Dingy in this context is a British military slang corruption of 'dengue' as in Dengue Fever - a mosquito borne disease see here. Men who served in Macedonia had dengue fever and I believe it is easy to confuse the symptoms with those of malaria which we know was epidemic in Macedonia in the summer. Two lifetimes ago I was a jungle warfare instructor in Brunei with the British Army (Gurkhas) and it was on the syllabus along with the four main strains of Malaria and Japanese Encephalitis - another mosquito borne disease.

Tap might be a contraction of "doolally tap" - British Indian Army slang for mad. From the induced madness from boredom at the transit camp Deolali (=doolally) and Tap, the Urdu word for malarial fever. Hence Deolali Fever = doolally tap = madness. My father (40 years in the Barmy) still uses the word 'tapped' to describe someone who is bonkers.

Regards MG

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"Y" Scheme - 307 men (7 Officers and 300 ORs) were sent to the UK from Macedonia under the "Y" Scheme in 1917 and a further 34,762 ( 342 Officers and 34,420 ORs) in 1918.

Ref: History of the Great War: Medical Services: Casualties and Medical Statistics. page 191 Table 10.

Regards MG

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Thanks for the replies chaps, all very sound explanations: Con. for convalescent instead of Com. certainly makes sense; as does 'dingy' being a corruption of dengue. I knew of doolally being used to describe madness, and its origination, but hadn't heard the 'tap' bit before, so didn't make the connection; I should have looked into 'TAP' more deeply and not been blinded by the capitalization: one of the OED definitions is, as Martin indicated, Malarial Fever, so, combined with the old chaps use of quinine, the use of 'TAP' alone to describe his condition is probably sound. Interestingly, the OED's earliest example of the usage of 'Doolally Tap' is as late as 1925 which, considering the British Army's long involvement in India seem rather late. Earlier use than 1925 is certainly indicated by this article Click from the RAMC Journal (found on Wikipedia :o ) which gives:

The slang word 'doolally' or doolali is used to describe someone who is 'out of one's mind' or 'crazy'. It is a derivation of 'doolali-tap' and originates from the latter part of the nineteenth century. The first part of this phrase is derived from the name of a small military town in the Indian state of Maharashtra called Deolali. The second part is a Hindustani word for fever, often ascribed to malaria, although in Sanskrit, 'Tapa' means simply heat torment. Taken literally, it is best translated as 'camp fever. By the time of the Second World War, the term had been shortened to 'doolally'.

NigelS

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Thanks for the replies chaps, all very sound explanations: Con. for convalescent instead of Com. certainly makes sense; as does 'dingy' being a corruption of dengue. I knew of doolally being used to describe madness, and its origination, but hadn't heard the 'tap' bit before, so didn't make the connection; I should have looked into 'TAP' more deeply and not been blinded by the capitalization: one of the OED definitions is, as Martin indicated, Malarial Fever, so, combined with the old chaps use of quinine, the use of 'TAP' alone to describe his condition is probably sound. Interestingly, the OED's earliest example of the usage of 'Doolally Tap' is as late as 1925 which, considering the British Army's long involvement in India seem rather late. Earlier use than 1925 is certainly indicated by this article Click from the RAMC Journal (found on Wikipedia :o ) which gives:

The slang word 'doolally' or doolali is used to describe someone who is 'out of one's mind' or 'crazy'. It is a derivation of 'doolali-tap' and originates from the latter part of the nineteenth century. The first part of this phrase is derived from the name of a small military town in the Indian state of Maharashtra called Deolali. The second part is a Hindustani word for fever, often ascribed to malaria, although in Sanskrit, 'Tapa' means simply heat torment. Taken literally, it is best translated as 'camp fever. By the time of the Second World War, the term had been shortened to 'doolally'.

NigelS

Even the mighty OED gets it wrong sometimes. Hullaballoo is described as being derived from the ancient Celtic Scots term balow or baloo meaning lullaby. It is utter rubbish. . Anyone with a smattering of Hindustani or who is familiar with Kipling's The Jungle Book will know that Balloo/Balu is Hindustani for the Bear (and the character in The Jungle Book) and 'hulla' or hullah means loud noise.....hence hullaballoo means a great sound or racket like that made by a bear. If you email the OED with your earlier etymology of Doolally Tap they might well include it as they have a never ending program to find the earliest recorded examples of the us of words. MG

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Nigel, reading this again are you sure about Dock? "Being in dock" meant being ill enough to need bed-rest or having something like a broken leg that would keep you off-work when I was a lad so, although it may have a medical connection, I don't think it means doctor/sick parade. Wouldn't that be Doc? In the context, I'd be more likely to define it as hospital.

Keith

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  • 3 months later...

The entire verse was printed as a little folding item that the troops could purchase for a small sum - I imagine a copy of this was sent to the paper. Some printing in Salonika was notoriously indifferet with regard to spelling, being typeset by indigient Greeks with little experience of english.

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