Earl of Berkhamsted Posted 28 January , 2009 Share Posted 28 January , 2009 Hi CGM, Welcome to the forum's cultured pages. I am very pleased to hear that this is one step on your personal road. Regards, EoB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alex falbo Posted 28 January , 2009 Share Posted 28 January , 2009 Fantastic work through and through lads!!! Really inspiring! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Johnson Posted 28 January , 2009 Share Posted 28 January , 2009 Starting to learn about The Great War has been hard. I guess it would be the same for many people? So much sadness. The few facts I've always known are nothing compared to the real story. CGM, for most of us, it is the personal story that is important. Medal collectors call this "the man behind the medal" which is why an orphan Victory Medal has more intrinsic value to us than an un-named medal with no supporting paperwork. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CGM Posted 29 January , 2009 Share Posted 29 January , 2009 Hello EoB, Thank you for your welcome! I'm not a writer, at all, but when I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by what I was finding out, and started reading the culture threads I thought that's what I'll do - I'll write my thoughts. I've been scribbling on bits of paper for days now. Michael I see exactly what you mean. I should stop reading everything! It's too much, too soon. I do have a personal story to follow, my grandad who I knew very well, and that's what I'll concentrate on. Oh, and we have his 1914-15 Star, his Silver War Badge, and his 1919 Returned Sailors and Soldiers Imperial League of Australia Badge, but no Victory Badge. We don't know why not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Johnson Posted 29 January , 2009 Share Posted 29 January , 2009 If he had the 1914-15 Star he automatically qualified for the British War Medal and Victory Medal. Perhaps he moved before they were issued and the medals were returned unclaimed. If you care to post his details I'm sure our sleuths can track him down and find the reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CGM Posted 29 January , 2009 Share Posted 29 January , 2009 Thank you. I'll follow them up on my original thread. I think I'd like to post what I've written. The Kiss. The door scraped open across the uneven floor and set the bell jangling. Pushing aside the old blanket hanging across the doorway he shuffled through from the back. "Hello Annie" he said, gently. She didn't reply. He waited for a moment, then asked "What have you got for me?" Silently she laid her bundle on the counter and he opened the newspaper wrapping. "These are quite good ones" he murmured. "The best he ever had, except for the ones the army gave him" she whispered. From a battered old tin under the counter he took a selection of coins and handed them to her. "A fish supper for the little ones and a loaf of bread or two" he smiled. Her composure broke and she began to cry. Snatching up one of the boots she wrapped her arms around it and hugged it to her chest, silently rocking from side to side. Patiently he stood watching, giving her time. "Annie love." Wildly she looked up at him, then, remembering, she started to let go of the boot. But she wasn't quite ready to hand it over yet. Teardrops had collected on the leather and she gently touched them away with her finger. Only then did she put it down. There was a tug at her skirt. "Ma, who will wear them now?" Hastily she smoothed the tears from her cheeks and looked down. "I don't know, lovely, I really don't know." "I want Pa to wear them" the little girl wailed. Annie stooped down. "I know darling, I know, but someone special will wear them, I'm sure" she tried to reassure her. "Now give me a kiss and we'll go home." The little girl leaned forward and gave her mother a loving kiss. "A kiss to make it all better, Ma" she said. Bleakly Annie glanced up at him, then she gave her daughter a fierce hug, straightened up and gently shepherded her out into the street. He shuffled his way to the doorway and watched them cross the road; then he leaned on the door to close it and turned back. "I don't know if it will ever be all better" he thought. Looking round at his overflowing shelves he sighed deeply. "That makes three pairs of boots from Annie's street alone. And already I've been offered a medal." --~~~-- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunboat Posted 30 January , 2009 Author Share Posted 30 January , 2009 A lovely entry and very well written thank you for posting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salesie Posted 31 January , 2009 Share Posted 31 January , 2009 Not bad, CGM, not bad at all - a piece crying out for development, especially the back story. Cheers-salesie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
squirrel Posted 31 January , 2009 Share Posted 31 January , 2009 Nicely done CGM - well written and a different slant on the theme -well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CGM Posted 31 January , 2009 Share Posted 31 January , 2009 Oh, thank you for your kind comments, gunboat. I really felt I was Annie. Thank you Squirrel, but I can't take too much credit for the different slant - it just had to be - as I hardly know anything about events overseas! I'm glad you liked it though. Salesie I looked at your website a while ago, and again today and your comments mean a lot to me. Thank you. As to writing more (I googled "the back story" ) I'm not sure - this might be all there is! I was feeling very moved and it just happened. The only way I write normally is in bullet points - shopping lists at home and procedures for setting up Biology practicals at work, and this style seemed very fitting for such a stark story. In fact wherever there's a long sentence I (and "WORD" ) forcibly joined two bullet points together! I have a question I'd like to ask.... I spent a bit of time checking the details were correct for the time, but not long after I'd posted I suddenly thought of a huge one I never even considered. Annie's husband would never have been able to afford two pairs of boots, so he must have been wearing his only pair when he enlisted and changed into his uniform. Annie must have received his civilian clothes back at some time. Did this really happen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salesie Posted 31 January , 2009 Share Posted 31 January , 2009 I have a question I'd like to ask.... I spent a bit of time checking the details were correct for the time, but not long after I'd posted I suddenly thought of a huge one I never even considered. Annie's husband would never have been able to afford two pairs of boots, so he must have been wearing his only pair when he enlisted and changed into his uniform. Annie must have received his civilian clothes back at some time. Did this really happen? The answer lies in the back story, CGM - please try to develop it, I found myself wanting to know more about this family; sacrifices were not only made at the front, courage was not confined to the trenches. Cheers-salesie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CGM Posted 1 February , 2009 Share Posted 1 February , 2009 I come waving a white flag salesie. I surrender! I'll give it a go..... I do want everything, including all the fine details, to be accurate though, so I'll have loads of research to do. I'll see if I can write for the MGWAT titles (so I have a month to study each piece!). p.s. OK, somewhere I'll include a bit about Annie having got his boots to pawn, but I do need to know whether they would have been sent to her automatically, when he left England, or if she had to go and demand them from somewhere, before I can do that. Is February's subject definately RATS? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salesie Posted 1 February , 2009 Share Posted 1 February , 2009 I come waving a white flag salesie. I surrender! I'll give it a go..... I do want everything, including all the fine details, to be accurate though, so I'll have loads of research to do. I'll see if I can write for the MGWAT titles (so I have a month to study each piece!). p.s. OK, somewhere I'll include a bit about Annie having got his boots to pawn, but I do need to know whether they would have been sent to her automatically, when he left England, or if she had to go and demand them from somewhere, before I can do that. Is February's subject definately RATS? A bit of lateral thinking needed about those boots, CGM - Firstly, it is highly unlikely that Annie's husband would not have come home after joining the army and before going overseas. Men did not join up and then simply "disappear" for the duration; embarkation leave being just one example of many reasons why his "civvies" would have been left at home with Annie. And, secondly, the vast majority who joined-up, even amongst working class men, owned more than one pair of civilian footwear and many would have left their "best" boots at home. Plus, many families became poorer in financial terms when their men went off to war (army pay and allowances were less than most earned pre-war, only a minority were unemployed and/or on their uppers) meaning that many made a financial sacrifice as well as a human one. I realise that Annie's husband having more than one pair of boots is at odds with your story so-far, but remember nothing is fixed, what you've produced is a draft, a very interesting one with bags of potential, but a draft nonetheless - I always have the story in my head before starting to write, but I have never yet finished a story that was anything like what I set out to do; the characters develop a "life of their own" and "take-over" the piece - write and re-write and re-write is the reality. And don't worry about lots of fine detail, too much only serves to kill a piece; just enough to make the story plausible and to spur the reader's imagination but not so much as to bore them. You've spurred my imagination, making me want to know more about this family - good luck with developing it. Cheers-salesie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CGM Posted 2 February , 2009 Share Posted 2 February , 2009 Thank you for all that help salesie. I think I'm enjoying this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted 2 February , 2009 Share Posted 2 February , 2009 CGM, I concur with Salesie. When my imagination hits the paper, it often turns out different from what it started as. I used to think that characters did what you made them do, but was made to revise that thought when one of my boys became a leading character of his own. Read lots, let it stew in the mind for a while, then let it come out how it comes. Then, as Salesie advises, re-write and revise, but not too pedantically, or you will take out the original flow. Best regards Kim Is the next topic to be "Rats"???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
squirrel Posted 2 February , 2009 Share Posted 2 February , 2009 Apparently! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CGM Posted 2 February , 2009 Share Posted 2 February , 2009 Oh dear, I'm very sorry - I seem to have completely misread some earlier posts in MGWATs. Please ignore my question about RATS. Sorry again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted 3 February , 2009 Share Posted 3 February , 2009 Gunny, your turn to put up the poll, and please make it more obvious than I did, even though I mentioned multiple choice twice, that you can vote for different mediums. Cheers Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunboat Posted 4 February , 2009 Author Share Posted 4 February , 2009 Please miss may I be excused I have a note from my mother..... Can someone post how its done and I will do the deed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Johnson Posted 5 February , 2009 Share Posted 5 February , 2009 Salesie will need to tell us which piece he wants in the poll. Mine can be regarded as two parts of the same story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salesie Posted 5 February , 2009 Share Posted 5 February , 2009 Salesie will need to tell us which piece he wants in the poll. Mine can be regarded as two parts of the same story. All of mine can be left out of the poll. In this context, I don't particularly like polls; I'm not vehemently opposed to them, I simply see them as being pointless - each to their own though, and good luck to those who do wish to take part. December's poll was posted before I realised it, and in January I forgot to mark my contributions as not for polling, which I will now put right. Cheers-salesie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Johnson Posted 20 February , 2009 Share Posted 20 February , 2009 Poll has been posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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