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Desmond7's Blog

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Ch 13


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"June 18th 1916 – Martinsart. Btn. in reserve. Draft of 20 ORs and one officer received. ‘A’ and ‘C’ coy. Provided work parties for RE engaged on road mending. ‘B’ coy. engaged on maintenance of comm. trench C3 between ‘Paddy’s Post’ and ‘Church Street’.

All details back in billets 1800 hrs for well deserved rest. Btn. warned for new tour comm. June 24th. Rfn. Lonergan, who had recently featured prominently in the Divisional Magazine provided officers of HQ coy. with a delicious supper which was met with approval by all."

They called themselves the Poor Bloody Infantry and after several hours of grinding my way through the Mudshire’s War Diary, I was inclined to agree.

I bet if you did a Great War ‘word association’ test with the average punter you’d end up with ‘Mud’ and ‘Blood’ at the top of the list.

I’d be confident that ‘dog’ and ‘tired’ would have more accurately reflected the overwhelming experience of the soldiers who actually went into the trenches.

Anyone looking for guts’n’glory in the Muddies’ war diary would be searching in vain. But for a true perspective on the life of an average Tommy, it was unbeatable.

Doing a tour in the firing line must have been bad enough, but then to be subjected to hard, physical labour during what was laughably called a period of rest must have been soul destroying.

The old ‘History of the Mudshires’ had been absolutely right in that respect when it stated: "Modern warfare required a strong focus on logistics and men who had thoroughly expected to be purely fighting soldiers were initially dismayed to find themselves involved in hard, physical labour under the most trying of circumstances."

By June 1916, the Muddies had performed their fair share of duty in the trenches. They’d had a steady dribble of casualties from shellfire, snipers and sickness.

But they’d also lost quite a few men through what can only be termed as industrial accidents. Torn muscles, crushed fingers and broken toes were commonplace as the lads from Mudcaster went ‘on fatigues’.

Oh what a lovely war … my ****, as Jim Royale would say. It was a back-breaking, mind-numbing grind for most of the time.

But there was comradeship too:-

From a ‘History of the 7th Royal Mudshire Rifles. Chapter 3, page 27.’

"A great character of the battalion was Rfn..(later lce. Cpl) Lonergan of ‘B’ coy. If the ‘blues’ were in evidence, Lonergan’s ability to secure additional provisions and cobbe together a tasty treat became legendary. In fact, his recipe for corned beef stew was even included in the Divisional Magazine."

"Where in the name of Jesus am I going to get a bag of fresh onions Lonnie?" implored Willie McCallion. "As for the carrots – when was the last time you had anything that wasn’t tinned or dried?"

‘Handy’ Andy Lonergan delved into his pack and produced a superbly carved German tobacco pipe.

"Now lads, this’ll cost you five woodbine apiece, but trust old Lonnie, it’ll be worth it. Stump up and look happy," demanded the section’s number one scrounger.

Lonergan dropped the fags and the pipe into a ration sack.

"Willie lad, the Lord shall provide for his hungry flock. You take yourself off down the wagon lines and ask for an ASC bloke called Hughie McFee. Give him this and he’ll give you what I’m after. Tell him a Jock scored this pipe off a Jerry what was captured in a trench raid the other night. It’ll make a nice wee souvenir for him to send home."

An hour later, Willie and the rest of the section listened with a sense of wonderment as Lonergan performed a feat of culinary alchemy. As usual, it was a gala performance.

"First of all, lads, nothing but the best will do for Lonergan’s Finest Corned Beef Stew.

"Now I just happened to meet a bloke what was carrying a very heavy load down to that RGA crowd today and he just happened to lose four tins of Fray Bentos which as youse all know fine f..king well, is the best what the King’s Shilling can buy .." Lonergan watched as the section nodded hungrily.

"Now some eejits just slice up this nectar of the Gods with a dirty oul’ bayonet. But not your humble servant."

Lonergan stooped and retrieved a cheese grater from his seemingly bottomless pack.

He held it up like a talisman: "This, my lads, is the secret weapon."

Skillfully, be began grating the corned beef onto a layer of sliced potatoes which nestled on a succulent bed of bacon at the bottom of a cauldron.

He wiped his hands and invited the section to admire his handiwork. There were nods of approval from the assembled soldiers.

"Take your carrots and grate ‘em nice and finely on top and add a little water. Not too much mind … and none of that petrol flavoured stuff my lads. I just happened to be walking past the officer’s mess today and this here bottle of Frenchy water just happened to be going to waste and you know me, waste not want not says the Lord."

"Amen," said the section in unison.

"We now take our onions and grate them into the pot. And if the odd tear gets into the mixture, so much the better – it’ll add a little seasoning.

"Finish up with another layer of spuds and we’re almost ready to put her on the boil."

A semi-circle of faces gazed in adoration at Lonergan.

"But, as youse all know, variety is the spice of life and tonight, my lads, I give you the spice what keeps the Mighty Raj ticking over. Curry powder," with a flourish, Lonergan dumped a liberal helping of the brown coloured substance into the pan.

"I’m not eating any of that foreign muck," whined Jenkins, a recent arrival from the depot.

Willie McCallion snorted: "Jenky, you just close your eyes and say a wee prayer son. Thank your lucky stars that you’re here tonight because half the f..king company would swap places with you."

The cauldron started to bubble. Lonergan sniffed the aroma and observed his handiwork with a critical eye. He reckoned the lads would eat well tonight.

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armourersergeant

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Now then mr Blackadder i think your intelliegence officer has very good connections

Name, father occupation and recent 'job' all in one night? It could only be Mata katie!

I do love a good beef hash, though i was hoping to arrive with Red on the collar!

keep it going whilst i track down Mata Katie and her quick keyboard

regards

Arm aka Pvt Lonergan

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I'm dedicated to anarchy - the whole thing is a tribute to chaos theory!!

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